Easy As Cake

sheeranal:

THE PHRASE ‘ITS ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK’ MAKES ME SO ANGRY BECAUSE FUCKING DUH ITS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK WHY WOULD YOU KEEP LOOKING IF YOU FOUND IT

ghostanswers:

buttermilkqueen:

subway??? no man this is domway. we tell you how you want your sandwich and u shut up and eat it.

This is domway, where we pre-negotiate how the sandwich will be made with your full understanding of the ingredients and their usual consequences. If the worst happens and you don’t like the sandwich you can use a safeword, we’ll remove it and immediately stop lunch. Then we’ll remake it for you the way you like, with plenty of communication to avoid those ingredients in the future. That way you can build a foundation of trust with us, and enjoy yourself by safely giving yourselves into the hands of other sandwich-makers who have proven their responsibility and compassion with your dietary needs.

shalrath:

this website’s attitude towards people who simply didn’t know something is probably more toxic than anything in the vicinity of 100 meters from the chernobyl nuclear factory wreck

hownowbrownseacow:

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

Fantastic.

snowdarkred:

WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

more like, i’m not touching this fic with a ten foot pole are you fucking kidding me

maple-rose-kisses:

Okay, do you see this?

Do you see how the U.S. is the third most populous country IN THE WORLD? Do you see how California alone is more populous than Canada? Do you see how California and Texas together are more populous that the UK? Do you see?

The United States is a HUGE, very populous, very DIVERSE country, and sometimes we disagree about things. And when we disagree it makes it hard to get things done. And sometimes things that work in smaller countries don’t work here. 

I’m not saying that NOTHING that works in smaller countries will work here. We have a lot of fucked up systems and problems that we need to fix, and in some cases we could stand to emulate some other countries to try to do that.

But I am so sick of the “BUT CANADA!!!” argument for every single thing. The entirety of Canada has three million fewer people the single state of California. We can’t just take Canada’s laws and implement them smoothly and flawlessly into American society. It doesn’t work that way.

Things I did not expect to like:

Muscle shirt

chickensandwich:

i don’t ONLY care about myself. i care about like 5 other people. and animals.